Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Shame and Embarrassment

After being in therapy over 6 years dealing with gender I should not feel ashamed about being Trans. But I do, for some reason for which I can not explain I am still embarrassed and ashamed of it at times. Which makes no logic sense to me; I now understand I was born this way. Logically I should feel no more shame than a person who is born with only one leg or any other birth defect.
When I go out I am always so careful not to be read, I just want to blend in and be treated like any other woman. It makes me feel like I am a criminal on the look out afraid somebody is going to find my secret out, expose me as fraudulent woman and whisk me off to gender jail to spend all of eternity for my horrible crime. I know that is silly and ridiculous but that’s how I feel from time to time. Is that crazy or what I should know better?

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