Monday, December 15, 2008

How do you explain transsexualism to non transsexual people?

I have started slowly coming out to close friends and family. But as I do they keep asking me the same themed questions asked over and over again.

"How do you know you are a transsexual?"
"Whats makes you think you are a transsexual?"
"What do you think you can do as a women that you can't do as a man?"
"I just don't understand."
"You are too masculine you will never pass as a woman so why try?"

I know I am a woman on the inside, and I try to tell them it is about me making my outside match my inside. But that is not clearing it up for then they are still confused. I believe they mean no disrespect, they just want to understand. So they keep asking the same themed questions over and over. I feel I must not be explaining it clear enough.

Is this typical for people who are coming out? Or are my friends and family being to nosy? Does anybody have a good simple answer to help me explain what I am going through to non transsexual people?


  1. Hi Kellie,

    Funny that ive just stumbled across your blog, because ive literally just answered some of these questions in my latest post. Hopefully its of some use to you and will help when speaking to those around you


  2. Hi Kellie, ive justed posted about this very topic, if you check out my blog hopefully it may help with some of your questions

    Bree xx

  3. Hiya Kellie,

    I can't fully answer the question "How do you know you're a transsexual?" as I've not fully decided myself but I can say that when I look at women it is quite often with envy, I want to be them, to be free to be fashionable and move with grace. When I dress and go out I try to blend in, to be a woman - not just dressed as one.

    What can you do as a woman and not as a man, I don't feel your gender (or changing of) should restrict or open any activities - except maybe shoe shopping!

    Sorry for the essay, don't let people get confused between gender and sexuality, they're two separate things!

    Good luck hun,
    Jenn x

  4. Jenny is right - too many people equate gender and sexuality. People like putting things in boxes so they can classify everything. I get the same thing from my brother who does not accept me - notably that I cannot pass. Sadly he was very surprised when he saw me on Christmas day.

    How do you know - that is tough. I believe it is an innate understanding that your brain disagrees with what is between your legs.

    Transitioning is about becoming who you are meant to be.

  5. I just look at them as though they are an idiot and tell them "because I tried living as a man and it's horrible being a drag king 24/7".


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